Big-Ego Behaviors in Leadership
I called Ken Kragen to confirm a quote. Ken managed superstars like Kenny Rogers, Lionel Richie, Trisha Yearwood, Travis Tritt, Olivia Newton John, The Bee Gees, and more.
He was one of the founding organizers of We are the World that brought together more than 40 artists.
It turns out that Ken didn’t say, “Superstars are simply those who receive the most help.” He didn’t even believe the statement was true.
He said superstars have big egos, a deep need to please, and an ‘it’ factor. It’s not simply a matter of receiving the most help.
Big realization:
I was disappointed Ken didn’t believe the quote. I decided…
If you want to be a leader, forget about being a superstar.
My mind went to Jack Welch, a modern ‘superstar-leader’. Jack might have a big ego, deep need to please, and the ‘it’ factor, but he’s the opposite of a superstar in one important way.
Jack believes leadership is all about others, while superstars believe it’s all about themselves.
Jack said, “The idea that Jack Welch is the hero of creating all this value is silly…. Building a team is your strongest suit. … It’s about growing your people. You grow from the reflected glory of your people.”
Big-ego leaders:
#1. Are generous with criticism and stingy with praise.
Big egos need praise but don’t need to give it.
Superstar-leaders walk around pointing out what’s wrong. It makes them feel powerful.
Do your team a favor. If you love pointing out what’s wrong, stop talking.
#2. Reject the ideas of others.
You can’t lead successfully if everyone has to think like you.
I’ve seen many leaders get excited about developing people until people start thinking for themselves.
The need to be right – coupled with a need to control – motivates leaders to sabotage, nitpick, and reject other people’s ideas.
What big-ego behaviors do you see in leadership?
Can small-ego people be leaders?
Dan, your points in this article are so true. Thanks for verbalizing them in this article so I can share with others who this will also resonate with. It helps in dealing with the superstar-leaders.
Thanks Lori. Best for the journey!
Big Ego–they over-talk and under-listen.
Thanks Paul. People with power tend to talk more.
This is a great way to define leadership! Often those who exhibit this “big-ego” behavior don’t recognize they are doing so. The tendency to relate title to power over people stifles team growth and development.
You nailed it Susan. The danger of position, title, and power is disconnection. Arrogance and big ego are born in disconnection.
I love that statement! how true it is that arrogance and big ego are born in disconnection. The ineffective leaders I have seen get caught up in this. I am not sure which come first, the characteristics or the attending behaviors that causes them to manifest themselves. I have often thought that the root of the ego and arrogance are really in insecurity- lack of confidence in your own abilities or in yourself personally often causes someone to over compensate and results in extremely poor and ineffective leadership.
HI Dan,
I share your stuff almost every day but this link below is not working…just wanted to give you a heads up.
Ann
Hi Ann, I checked the links in the post and the link to this post. They all seem to work. Sorry for any trouble.
Thanks for the head-up! It do vary in leadership whereby the leader obviously will be acting as the manager and leader… checking out or snaring for errors and mistakes if any. The team wants to know for real that they are safe and have your trust to deliver…
Totally agree, great points! Speaking in the possessive (Me, my, mine and I) is another big-ego behavior I’ve seen.
Hi, Dan, How appropos for today’s news. You must have been saving this post for the right time! I totally agree with you. Of the leaders I have worked with, the ones who have promoted their teams’ successes have accomplished the most with those teams. Thanks for posting!
Thanks Diane. I think it’s important to note that arrogant leaders can succeed, at least if you measure success by power, money, and fame. I’m hopeful that we all move toward the humble approach. Cheers
This is for me! “You grow from the reflected glory of your people.” I love the twist of phrase…”the reflected glory of your people!” Nice.