The Simple Path to Your Best Self
The path to your best self requires self-awareness.
Self-awareness hinges on self-reflection.
Structured self-reflection – the path to your best self:
Make a long list of your talents, strengths, and aspirations. Think of things that make your eyes go bright.
Talents are, “recurring patterns of thought, feeling, or behavior that can be productively applied.” You’re born with talent. Strengths are “the ability to provide near-perfect performance in a specific activity.” (Gallop)
Recognize and develop your talents. Strengths occur when you invest time developing your talents. Self-awareness enables you to lean into your natural talents and maximize your strengths.
Don’t worry about getting your list of talents, strengths, and aspirations exactly right. Modify it as time passes. Set aside a few minutes and begin your list now. Revisit the list at least once a day for the next five days.
Live into your best self:
Reflect on the contributions you currently make when you bring your best self to family, customers, and colleagues. Explore the contributions you aspire to make based on your talents, strengths, and aspirations.
- Notice and linger in the things that make your soul come alive. When are you saying, “I can’t wait to do that again?”
- Notice what you don’t do well but would like to do better. Reflect on frustrations and disappointments. What skills would lower your frustrations?
- Notice and respect your impact on others. Describe what’s it’s like to sit across the table from you. Share your reflection on the way you think you show up with people on your team.
Challenge:
Practice self-reflection for a few minutes each day. Use pen and paper to record your observations.
(This post is adapted from, The Vagrant, by Johan David Mann and myself.)
What enables you to become your best self?
What self-reflection practices do you recommend?
Still curious:
Overcoming Self-Defeating Behaviors
Eye-opening Self-Reflection Questions for Leaders
Great morning read. Thank you Dan! I’ll have to acquire that book. One question based on a quote: when “people are born with talent”, is that implying someone is born with specific talents and they cannot develop other talents outside of what they are born with? I could be getting talent and skills mixed up. Thanks!
Good morning, Drew. You bring up an important point. There’s good research to indicate we can learn and develop most any skill. Our ability to develop is important because self-acceptance turns into self-indulgence when we say, “I’m just not like that.” I find that attitude pathetic.
At the same time, we must accept our in-born traits and abilities. It takes special physical traits to play professional football. Yes, I can improve my ability to play, but without some natural ability I’ll never be at the top of that field.
I rely heavily on Gallups research to explain the difference between talents and strengths.
What self-reflection practices do you recommend?
Start by meditating. It helps me clear my mind and reflect on my thoughts and actions more clearly.
Thanks, Paul. I find I’m good for about three minutes.
I like to quiet my mind before every coaching call. I do this with some breathing, reflecting on myself and the person I’m talking with, and sitting quietly and noticing what comes to mind. It takes 3 minutes.
I read, Principles, by Ray Dalio. He’s serious about meditation practice. I’m grasshopper status compared to folks like you and Dalio.
Hi Dan. Good take on the path of self realisation. That journey has a lot to do with the soul’s inherent journey which triggers an individual to come to a point of a free will related decision making to actually take the step towards self awareness. Loved the same in the book by Dr. Shweta Shahi.. titled Unleash the power called You… YOU. Matter. Check it out.
Amazing, thoughtful, inspirational, and educative read. Thank you for sharing this beautiful article Dan!
For Christian readers who are having a pork-on-Passover reaction to meditation, consider “being transformed by the renewing of your mind,” discernment, and spiritual gifts (Romans 12).