23 Ways to Lower Stress that Don’t Work

I feel stress when people tell me to relax.

A little stress is good. A lot of stress eats you alive. Stress in large doses makes you stupid. Chronic stress shrinks your brain. Prolonged stress kills.

Lower stress: I get stressed when people tell me to lower stress. Image of a person serving in badminton.

23 ways to lower stress that don’t work:

  1. Never inconvenience yourself for others.
  2. Procrastinate more and make lame excuses. “The sun was out. I didn’t have time to work on your project.”
  3. Argue against everything.
  4. Honk your horn at people even if they didn’t do anything wrong. Horn-honking is a great way to lower stress.
  5. Compliment people when they do stupid things. “Good job, knucklehead.”
  6. Gossip until you run out of bad things to say.
  7. Pretend everyone is hard of hearing. Talk loudly.
  8. Tell your boss, “Thank you for being the worst boss in the history of humanity.”
  9. Point out bad qualities in co-workers.
  10. Yell at people and shake them real good. (Only do this if you are bigger than the person you shake.)
  11. Enjoy not liking people.
  12. Light matches. Lower stress by doing things mom told you not to do.
  13. Make stuff up. Spread lies.
  14. Create a mess.
  15. Say, “Because I said so,” when people question you.
  16. Keep saying, “Your lack of preparation is not my emergency.”
  17. Cut in line at the grocery story.
  18. Tweak everyone’s work.
  19. Brag about yourself.
  20. Give unrequested advice.
  21. Blow off meetings.
  22. Interrupt people.
  23. Drive fast. Break the speed limit.
Lower stress: Don't get stressed out about being stressed out. Image of a badminton birdie.

The #1 way to lower stress:

Don’t get stressed out about being stressed out.

Beating yourself down for being stressed is like pouring gas on a fire.

The second way to lower stress is to have fun making a list of stupid things people do and calling it ways to lower stress that don’t work.

What are some ways to lower stress that don’t work?

What’s your #1 way to lower stress?

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