The Secret to Magnificent Success
Bob Burg and John David Mann wrote the following in, “The Go-Giver Influencer.”
“’When Elizabeth started coaching me, the very first thing she taught me was also the most important thing she taught me.
“‘Have a kind and generous spirit, George,’ she said. ‘A kind and generous spirit always wins. And you know why that is?’
“’I didn’t, of course. I never know the answers to the questions she asks.'”
“Gillian could easily imagine that. The woman had a sort of oracular quality. Sphinx in a hairnet.”
“The Coach turned to face Gillian. ‘Because,’ she said, ‘gratitude is the secret to all magnificent success.’”
No time for gratitude:
Ambulance drivers don’t say please and thank you. Pressure and stress cause us to act like ambulance drivers.
Pressure and stress make gratitude feel inconvenient.
Being driven is another exemption from saying thank you. Driven people have too much to get done to ‘waste’ time expressing gratitude.
Pushy leaders prioritize goals over people.
Higher ups pressure you.
Direct reports don’t get it.
It’s all a formula for frustration that makes gratitude seem irrelevant.
The care and feeding of an ox:
Good people – like oxen – love to pull hard. When the load gets heavy, they dig in. They’re reliable, consistent, and hardworking. But if you crack the whip and just ride the cart, they resent you.
Gratitude is food for the soul.
When you expect a lot, give a lot.
4 ways to feed an ox:
- Pull with the team. How might you let the team know you’re pulling with?
- Don’t minimize people’s frustration. Empathy strengthens connection.
- Use empathy as a platform to turn conversations toward action. What are we/you going to do next?
- Let gratitude stand on its own. Don’t ask what’s next every time you say thank you.
How might you give a lot today?
Do you lean toward expecting a lot or giving a lot?
Note: The quote from, The Go-Giver Influencer, was recently posted on the Go-Giver Success Alliance website. I’m thankful to be a member of the alliance. I encourage you to check it out. Thank you Bob Burg for making a difference in my life.
Thank you Dan for your kind excerpt from John’s and my book! An immense honor to be cited in my favorite blog!! And thank you SO MUCH for your very kind personal note. I feel the same way about you, the work you do, and the wisdom you share! Much Gratitude to/for you!
It’s all my pleasure, Bob. Thanks for being a Go-Giver.
I am grateful for you researching and sharing thoughts and words that make a difference in the lives of more people than you could imagine, Dan. It’s delightful when we find something in our in-box first thing in the morning that throws a bright light on our path for the day. Thank you kindly!
Thank you Karen. You sure know how to be an encouragement! Best wishes.
Never muzzle the ox while he’s treading the grain. Show mercy.
Thanks Pete. Love that principle. The people who do the work should also enjoy benefit from doing the work.
Sorry, Dan, you’re just wrong on one thing. I was a paramedic (“ambulance driver”) and a leader of 26 type A personalities (medics) for many years. We indeed do say “please” and “thank-you”. Service is the key to happy patients. Please and thank you go a long way toward putting our patients at ease and making them feel cared for. We typically don’t say it twice in a true emergency, but please and thank you are the lubricant of a high functioning, high stress team.
Thanks Scott. So glad you jumped in today. I probably communicated my point poorly. I was thinking how ambulance drives go through red lights. However, I don’t want to paint ambulance drivers or EMTs or paramedics as rude. Once again, thanks for jumping in.
Hmm. Most of the synonyms for ox-like are not especially complimentary: not sure “clumsy, dull-witted and obtuse” is going to generate too many warm feelings in those so described!
Hi Mitch. Great seeing you here today. I was concerned about the negative connotation of comparing people with oxen. I gave myself permission by focusing on the good qualities that are associated with the Chinese Zodiac that has a year of the ox on it. Cheers.
How might you give a lot today? Stay the course as givers we don’t chose between “less or more”? We just give…
Do you lean toward expecting a lot or giving a lot? There again not sure as a measurment, We give what we can, when we can as best we can. Depending on expecting a lot, I expct their best, no more, no less,be consistant. I understand we all have off days too.
‘gratitude is the secret to all magnificent success.’ THANK YOU for this! I’m reading this at the end of my day (many days I don’t get to your blog until it’s dark out….)