The day your life and leadership change for the better

Have you ever noticed someone who made a significant positive change to the way they “showed up” as a leader? If you have, you might wonder what was in the water they were drinking.

My guess is that something caused them to take a deep look at themselves and realize that they needed take personal responsibility for a change in their behavior. In other words, for years they had been blaming others or circumstances outside themselves for not getting what they, their employees, or their organizations wanted or needed.

It’s emotionally easier for us to blame someone or something else when things go wrong or people aren’t as we want them to be. But its not a good way to spend your life. Or to learn and grow.

Do you fit this pattern of blame? We all have moments of looking outside ourselves when we should be looking inside. Consider this: the day you take personal responsibility for managing yourself is the beginning of a journey of hope, happiness, health, and lifelong fulfillment. And great leadership!

What this doesn’t mean is that you blame yourself for everything that goes wrong. What it does mean is that you see a way to manage yourself by asking yourself what you can or cannot do. A change of attitude may be all that you need to shift from frustration to freedom. Thus begins the journey of having an impact on your own well-being and those you lead.

Understand what you can’t change. Some examples and possible remedies:

  • People: despite your frustrations with others, you can’t change them. They are the only ones who can change themselves. You can change your viewpoint of them, however. What are they struggling with and how might you help them? When you can see them in a more understanding light, you might also see your way to assisting them. At the same time, when you see them in a new, more understanding light, they might also gain some valuable insight into themselves.
  • The past: The past is done, and there isn’t anything you can do to change that. Dwelling on it is fruitless. That doesn’t mean the past isn’t useful. It might be a goldmine of information that can shape the future. Staying stuck in frustration about what happened yesterday, a week or ten years ago won’t move things in a positive direction but learning from the past just might.
  • The unknown. It’s easy to get stressed about what you don’t know. But the mysteries of the unknown may be revealed with patience and attention. Most of us fear the unknown but taking measured steps to seek it out with your eyes wide open might just reveal the information you need to know.

What things are you putting negative energy into? What if you took the attitude that you can change your attitude/how you think about them?

Being a better leader requires you to become a better human. Part of that journey includes looking inside and being responsible for the role you can play and learning about what you can or cannot do. The best leaders understand that they are the instrument for change – within themselves and in the outside world.

Continue reading here: 10 conversations you're avoiding and how to start them

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