Just as people differ in height, musical talent, and sense of humor, there are pretty consistent differences in their ability to understand how others see them. Such differences are usually attributed to their self-awareness, though a more appropriate name for this ability would be other-awareness: awareness of how our actions affect — and are therefore evaluated by — other people.
How to Work for a Boss Who Lacks Self-Awareness
Self-awareness is depressingly rare. Psychological research suggests there is less than 10% overlap between people’s actual and self-perceived competence, mostly because people are not as adept as they think they are. This tendency to be unjustifiably pleased with oneself is exacerbated in leaders, not least because people are often promoted to leadership positions based on their confidence rather than their competence. What should you do if you have a boss who lacks self-awareness? Without being overly blunt or critical, you can try to help your boss understand how the team or organization is feeling, providing a social reading of the situation that your boss may be missing. Even when bosses are irrational, they are still largely predictable, so your main goal should be to detect your manager’s default patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving and adapt to them. You will have a better relationship with your boss if you play the game and reinforce their self-views, but remember not to abandon reality yourself.