Male Mentors Shouldn’t Hesitate to Challenge Their Female Mentees

Women in competitive, historically male organizational cultures make more money and enjoy more rapid promotions when they are mentored by men. But male mentors often hesitate to push their female mentees as hard as they push the young men they’re mentoring. This can leave women under-challenged and under-prepared. These guys might see challenging their female mentees as being unchivalrous or uncaring, but critical feedback and stretch assignments are essential in effective mentoring relationships. Start by recognizing that challenges and critical feedback need not be inconsistent with kindness. In fact, growth-inducing challenge is a form of commitment and care. Second, avoid pretense and be yourself with your mentees. Sharing stories about our own professional stumbles creates the trust that makes challenging feedback easier to hear. Third, show your mentee that you are her champion and ally, even when her performance flags. She’ll become a better leader if you push her out of her comfort zone.